Search Engine Silliness

Blogging newbie that I am, I get a huge kick out of seeing what leads people to my goofy ramblings. Most people who hit this site have only themselves to blame: they either subscribe and therefore automatically receive links to new posts via email (no, frugal mother of mine, there is no subscription fee), or they click through via Facebook.

Such self-inflicted pain accounts for about 95 percent of the 4,312 page views this blog has received since inception. But what of the other five percent?

The rest come here courtesy of Google search; when I am logged in as “admin” of this site I can pull down a report on these searches. To date, about half of searchers keyed in some combination of “cj” “boston marathon” “christine johansen” or “cj runs like a girl”; the bus rightfully dropped those riders off at this stop. The rest fall into the “poor misdirected souls” category; they arrive at my virtual doorstep dazed and confused. Like Dorothy, they know they ain’t in Kansas anymore but where they may be remains a mystery.

Without further ado, here are my Fave Weird Searches That Brought Unwitting Readers to My Blog:

4. “maverick eat dead squirrel”
Google, get your facts straight: Maverick didn’t eat the squirrel, he just smushed him! Fyi and btw, do NOT replicate this search unless you’ve an iron-clad stomach. Suffice it to say they do some super-weird stuff in Scotland.

3. “what is it like being 8 months pregnant”
Sorry, ladies: my blog comparing pre-marathon jitters to late-stage pregnancy isn’t gonna help you navigate the world of water retention and hippity-hop-sized bellies. I recommend you log off and take a Lamaze class; deep breathing ain’t gonna change the fact that childbirth hurts like hell, but it’ll help you more than my blog will.

2. “dumbest ideas ever”
What are the other “dumbest ideas ever”? Swine flu parties–you can read all about them here. In my book, the revelers at a swine flu party are definitely dumber than the competitors in a 70.3-mile race.  My white flag is up; you guys win.

and my all-time Favorite Weird Search (drum roll please)…

1. “cheeseburger costume”
Are you guys planning Halloween early? You must be, as several of you stumbled upon my site when all you really wanted was a “cheeseburger costume”. Instead, you got my blog about the cheeseburger who beat me in the Boston Marathon. This brought a smile to my vegetarian lips and made me hungry to find the Blazing Fast Burger Himself so I did a little search of my own…and apparently there was not just one burger but a whole picnic’s-worth running on April 18th!

Boston Marathon 2011 Burger Brigade. The cheeseburger who passed me in Kenmore was a svelte Caucasian male--my #1 suspect is the dude in the top row, center stage. He ran in an electric blue body suit (at least that's how I remember it). Guess I'll never know for sure!

Here’s hoping all your searches serve up something yummy!

– Christine

About garmin_girl

I'm a 40-something single mother of three--two great human girls and one four-legged Dalmatian banshee--who is hellbent on swimming, biking and running straight through my midlife crisis. Care to tag along? Crazy loves company! ;)
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2 Responses to Search Engine Silliness

  1. Andy McPhee says:

    Great post, Chris, and an even greater idea for a post. I might steal it, if you don’t mind. Tee-hee!!!

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